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"Dame Europas School". 


Belford Brothers, Publishers 



Dame Europa's Remonstrance, 







Why do they prate of the blessings of Peace? we have made them a curse, 
Pickpockets, each hand lusting for all that is not its own. 

Is it Peace or War? * * * loud war by land and by sea : 
War with a thousand battles, and shaking a hundred thrones ! " 





Entered according to the Act of Parliament of the Dominion of Canada, 
in the year one thousand eight hundred and seventy-seven, by 
Belford Bros. , in the Office of the Minister of Agriculture. 

Printed and Stereotyped by Bound by 

The Globe Printing Company, Hunter, Rose & Co., 

Toronto* Toronto. 



In this year of grace, of advanced civilization, and 
of ennobling Christianity, 1877, is commenced a war 

I which threatens to be on the grandest scale, embroiling 

7 therein nearly, if not all, the principal states of Europe. 

3 These have, trained to arms more or less perfectly, the 
somewhat " limited," " insignificant " number of nearly 
Ten Millions of Soldiers, with power to draw upon 
their populations to an unlimited extent to supply the 

- losses sustained oy sickness, disease, and the havoc of 


The mind fails to grasp all that this fact threatens. 
Should this war become general (which most expect), 
what scenes of slaughter, carnage, desecration, misery, 
j woe, and brutalised death the world will be called upon 
to witness it is impossible to foresee. The power for 
destruction wielded by the reigning heads of Europe is 
not likely sparingly to be exercised upon their peoples, 


and it is, therefore, our imperative duty to lift up the 
voice against so terrible a crime as is this war. 

In this " Eemonstrance and Ultimatum " we enter 
our protest ; and it is our conviction that it will 
command the support of every right-minded citizen 
throughout the British Dominions. 




My Dear Monitors, 

It is with the most profound regret that I 
find myself constrained once more to summon you. Our 
last interview was on a subject of the deepest interest 
to two of your number, and I have much cause to fear 
that the wounds they suffered and the losses then sus- 
tained, more especially by one of them, are not yet 
healed nor recouped. Blood and treasure spilt, you 
know, are like water thrown upon the ground, that 
cannot be gathered up again. 

But the reason for my summoning you on this 
occasion is far more momentous in its interests, and 
much more widely spread in its influences. As I look 
over your respective gardens I see some in great dis- 
order, and the earth turns up of a crimson dye ; all the 
trees are shaking, and the leaves of many are gone; in 


others the flowers seem as if they scarcely dared open 
their eyes to the noonday sun ; whilst in most, if not 
in all, I witness a nervous jerkiness in the gardeners, 
as if in dread of some terrible event about to happen, 
or as if they were conscious of guilt, and expected 
every breeze would waft to their side some stern 
janitor, who, with the quickest of marches, would 
safely put them in " the jug," or make their feet fast 
in the stocks. 

Seeing from my exalted position this unhappy 
state of affairs, I have determined to show you your 
gardens as they really are ; to impress upon you, indi- 
vidually and collectively, your respective duties and 
responsibilities in connection with them ; and lastly, in 
case of failure to comply with my wishes, to lay before 
you my positive and final commands. 

And now, Victok, I will begin with you, so pray 
stand up. 

In looking at your garden I am pleased to see that 
it is more complete and consolidated than formerly ? 
whilst it is also considerably enlarged. Time was when 
you were content to dine off " sardines," but now you 
must have your sunny slopes, and oranges and citrons 
in your beautiful groves for dessert. To effect this, I 
notice you have parted with a "Mce-Savo(r)y " portion 
on the one side that you might obtain a much larger 
field for the exercise of your curbing, pruning, and 
grafting gardening powers on the other. 

You have also largely increased the number of 


pupils under your charge, for your children now num- 
ber nearly twenty-eight millions, divided into sixteen 
departments, under the control of your sub- monitors. 

Your trading power is also increasing : the crumpled 
dirty bits of paper that were shuffled about from hand 
to hand amongst your pupils I am glad to see have now 
some promise of being redeemed. 

But there are still faults in your gardening — you 
have nearly a million of your pupils with fisticuffs and 
boxing gloves ready to fight — most of them unproduc- 
tive, and destroying vastly more than they could ever 

You have also lurking about in some dark recesses 
very dangerous creatures — they levy black mail on all 
alike, and perpetrate deeds of darkness and horror, alone 
or in company, with the most unblushing effrontery. 
Spare no cost to cleanse your garden from this foul 
brigand-stain, which mars the beauty of your fair 

In the lower part of your grounds I also notice a 
great furnace, supplying and consuming its own coals, 
and probably, at no distant date, it will suffer a fearful 
and terrible collapse. You have done wisely in 
abandoning it to its will, simply placing a spy upon its 
actions to report every hissing commotion he may 

In the centre of your garden stands a very aged 
oak, knotted, gnarled, and here and there showing many 
signs of decay. Time was when it was covered with 


glory ; every branch was long, strong, and full of sap 
and life and energy from the root upwards, and under 
it multitudes of rapacious creatures obtained shelter 
from the heat and light of the noonday sun. But 
now the branches are lopped, thinned, or cut close to 
the parent stem ; the light of day has penetrated and 
destroyed or dispersed multitudes of the hideous crea- 
tures once under its shade. # Many of its strong roots 
that struck deep, and stretched far and wide, and sprung 
up through the earth with renewed energy, are snapped 
asunder or loosened in the soil, and the tree itself I 
see threatens, with the first fierce blasts that blow, to 
topple and fall. 

Be not alarmed about its condition — let it alone 
and time will kill it. Do with it as you have done 
with your furnace — let it have its swing and watch 
it. Especially at the present juncture I say to you : 
be on the alert, and prepare for storms ; the branches are 
trying to stretch out beyond your domains, and to gather 
new life from foreign sources. Let them gather what 
little life they may — if you attempt to destroy you 
martyrize, and in the fall this oak will commit fearful 
havoc on all upon whom it may fall ; if you prop 
up you remove just grounds for outcry and whining, 
and the loss of natural forces will be your ultimate 
friend and saviour from this foe. 

William and Joseph are inviting you to take sides 
with them against two or three of your brother monitors — 
pause long ere you consent. Your garden is but young ; 


you have already burdened it with as much as it can 
bear ; if you enter into the fight it will be at an enor- 
mous cost. You have much to lose, little to gain, and 
the whole cast upon the chances of battle. Take my 
advice, friend Victor, help to maintain peace ; but 
at all risks keep out of the strife. Immediately you 
declare for a part in the fight, the old decaying oak will 
gather life and try to overgrow your garden, and take 
away from you the responsibility of the monitorship. 

Joseph, I have a word for you — you also can stand 
up to hear me. 

Your garden, I see, has suffered — a lovely portion 
in the south of it, with four large toolhouses, is gone 
from your charge, and I note that the borders of your 
eastern flower beds are tremulous, as if a cutting east 
wind were marching rapidly towards them. 

If the storm come, what is your capacity to 
stand against it ? Your pupils number about 38,000,000, 
occupying eighteen beds in your garden — the flowers 
are very diverse : some native to the soil ; others, exotic 
and compelled by force to be acclimatized. To a very 
great extent your sway is divided — laws for one part 
are not accepted in another, and your many • classes 
are bound together by very loose bonds. 

You have formed, I note, a strong band of fighting 
pupils numbering more than a million — these help to 
keep your garden in tolerable order ; but you have still 
many plants of dangerous growth in your midst : the 
Hungarian root, the Croatian nettle, the Polish worm- 


wood, the Bohemian gipsy- wort, the Galician thorn, and 
several others. 

You see your neighbour Aleck is picking a quarrel 
with your neighbour Mahmoud, and as he cannot well 
reach to strike him across the pond lying between them, 
he desires to cross over a part of your garden. This 
is very distasteful to your pupils, and it will require all 
your wisdom and coolness of judgment to decide whether 
to permit or to refuse his request. If you permit, you 
alienate your people, you offend Mahmoud and William 
— if you refuse, you annoy Aleck, and possibly he 
will seek to cross in spite of you ; if he succeed, he 
will claim that part of your garden in future as his. 
Beware ! seek to strengthen your hands by union* with 
some of your brother monitors, and so be equal to all 

And now, William, I would speak to you. 

You, I see, still wait on Providence, and, like Mr. 
Micawber, are hoping that " something will turn up." 
Smark, your head gardener, still says to you : " Shut your 
mouth and save your life." Good counsel truly, but 
not always safe to follow. 

Your garden, too, has greatly improved in appear- 
ance and extent. You have been cultivating it .with "All- 
sauce" and "Norain," and your vegetables and flowers 
have thriven wonderfully. You have broken down 
the hedges, too, that formerly made such extremely 
awkward landmarks, and by the help of your landwehr 
and your landsturm you have, I see, brought your 


forty-three millions to accept your strong guardianship. 
You must, however, bear in mind that it is the force of 
fisticuffs that has brought twenty-six states under your 
control : there are mighty volcanic energies, smoulder- 
ing and latent, beneath the surface of your garden, 
waiting only for the sunshine of a favourable juncture of 
circumstances to burst forth into flame. 

But you say, these are matters you leave to Moke 
and his boys. It is a source of deep sorrow to me that 
you cannot keep your garden beds and borders in order 
except by putting sharp-pointed needles into the hands 
of nearly two millions and a half of them. This is a 
fearful drain upon your soil, a standing dread to your 
neighbours, and to the peaceful occupations of all my 

Now I give you my counsel, as Aleck and Mahmoud 
have commenced the fight : reserve your forces to separate 
the combatants at the proper time. As they will fight, 
look on and see fair play, but do not permit the one utterly 
to crush the other. At the opportune moment step for- 
ward and boldly declare, " It is enough ! " Do not 
complicate your own position by ill-chosen alliances, nor 
provoke the ire of Louis by ill-advised speeches and 
open declaration of your suspicions and jealousy of his 
improved condition. If you do give him a box on the 
ear, depend upon it he will pounce upon you, tiger-like, 
and will not relinquish his hold till one or the other is 
exhausted. He will not be so easy a prey as when I 
last summoned you. He is burning secretly under a 


bitter sense of his crushing defeat, and he is now better 
prepared for conflict than ever he was before. Let 
wariness mark your footsteps, and caution ever rest 
upon your lips. 

As long as you keep out of the fight you are safe ; 
immediately you take part therein I will not attempt 
to foretell the result. 

Louis, pray stand, and accept my sympathy for you 
in your bereavement. 

I observe with sorrow you have lost a very 
valuable and productive part of your garden, which 
William seized, and which, it is certain, by the 
gardening operations he immediately carried out, he is 
determined to keep. But you placed the lovely fruits 
therein in the war-scales with William, and they 
"kicked the beam." 

I cannot help noticing further the plainness of your 
attire. All your fellow-monitors have very rich and 
gorgeous caps, upon which they pride themselves above 
all as their chief ornament ; but you come bare-headed, 
and that which is their glory you trample under foot. 
But it is still in existence, and I shall not be surprised, 
when I next summon you, to see your cap restored to 
its usual position. 

I am glad to see your late losses have awakened 
you to the need for deeper cultivation of your ground 
and the cleansing it of the weeds and rubbish lying in all 
quarters. It is now in much better trim everywhere, 
and your thirty-six millions of pupils are doing their 


best to atone for the errors of the past. In the eighty- 
seven departments into which you have divided your 
garden I am pleased to note that all, or nearly all, of your 
pupils speak one language, so that there is little chance 
of jealousy of race stirring up strife among them ; but 
the question "Who shall be your chief monitor?" is 
coming rapidly to the fore. In days gone by you had 
"Leon I." and "Leon III." strongly caged in your chief 
summer-house; now you have a "Jackdaw" keeping 
the lair warm for "Leon IV.," who is quietly taking a 
" Nap" the while with one eye open, and will spring the 
mine immediately the ground is ready. He will sow it 
with blood and tears if need be, having already passed 
through his "Baptism of Fire." 

Louis, what are your capacities to stand the shock 
of battle, or to take part in the present fight ? In your 
garden you have nearly 2,000,000 of boys, with chasse- 
pot and other sharp-pointed implements in their hands 
to keep the ground and the borders clean, and to 
frighten away all wild animals ; to prepare food for 
worms your chaffcutters also are at the highest point of 
perfection. This necessitates an immense drain upon 
the fructifying power of your land, and inflicts grievous 
punishment upon your boys. 

Sometimes dry, hot seasons parch up your ground, 
and you cry for rh(a)ine ; but that will not come at the 
cry. The cost of indulging hopes not likely to be 
realized infinitely outweighs the joys of possession. 
Abandon " the cry for rh(a)ine " is my advice, and cool 


your ground from the channels and waterways that are 
running through your garden. 

Your distant neighbour Aleck is coaxing you to 
help him against your nearer neighbour Mahmoud; 
what material interest have you in the fight ? You 
have nothing at stake whilst looking on ; you will have 
everything at stake if you become an active partisan. 
Your neighbour William is sure to take the opposite 
side to you, and then how will you act with two or more 
combatants at one and the same time ? Moke has 
just now thrown a firebrand across your borders : it was 
ill-advised and unkind, but you have received worse 
treatment from this man of blood and iron. Put your 
foot upon the brand and crush it ; show him you can 
bide your time, and will not be provoked to fight until 
you know you are a fully equal match for him. Your 
pupils are one, and willingly obey you. William's sit 
under one gorgeous hat, but many of his pupils would 
gladly tear it to shreds, and willingly labour to restore 
the old landmarks. 

At present your home matters demand all your 
care and attention. Strive above all to consolidate your 
power and strength, and when next you take a positive 
and active part in the counsels of my school let it be 
with a manliness and might which able and consolidated 
moral and physical forces alone can give. 

Well, Aleck, I see you have stood up unbidden. 
You wear a big, burly, blustering aspect just now, but 
beware ! Not for the first time have you trumpeted 


forth your glory, but on the last occasion it was sunk in 
" so-vast-a-pool " that the trumpet has ever since been 

What do you want ? 

Why have you fastened this quarrel upon Mahmoud ? 

Your garden already is too vast for your proper 
cultivation and keeping in order. It is larger than all 
the other gardens in my domains put together, and the 
number of your pupils exceeds eighty millions ; and yet 
in large tracts of the garden you can only average three 
boys to four English square miles of space. Large beds 
in your grounds have never borne a single fruit nor felt 
the foot of a single pupil, and yet you are not content ! 
You have divided your land into no less than eighty 
deputy gardenerships, the pupils of which are of very 
opposite natures and talk many different tongues, 
and still you suffer from kleptomania. 

But I see what you want : you covet Mahmoud's 
summer-house and the lovely lake whereon he sails his 
boats, and you do not care one straw how much you 
make him suffer so that you can gain your ends. 

Scattered through your grounds I see no less than one 
and a half millions of pupils living as birds of prey, scent- 
ing blood afar off, and swooping onwards in terrible array 
to pounce upon their victim. This is not the first time 
you have done this, and with a relentless, pitiless 
vengeance have you flung your cat-o'-ninety-and-nine 
tails over the bare bodies of your defenceless foes. No 
worse cruelties have ever been committed by any of my 


monitors than have been committed by you, and still 
you now, with an affectation of oily meekness, claim to 
stand up for "oppressed nationalities!" For you I 
fear " Truth does not only lie in the column " but it 
"lies on the lips." 

"Oppressed Nationalities " forsooth ! Cursed hy- 
pocrisy is this claim from your throat. Your own 
rule is the rule of the despot ; your people have no 
voice, nor the shadow of a voice, in making the laws 
that govern them ; repression, oppression, depression 
mark your sway ; your people must crouch to your 
will in all matters, foreign or domestic ; have no re- 
presentation with the Government in any form ; and 
so utterly and absolutely are all your pupils at the 
mercy of your bureaucracy, otherwise'at your will, 
Aleck, that two of your pupils, elevated a little in in- 
telligence above the common herd, were actually, in 
1877, "suspended for a month " for simply whispering 
to their hearers that " The entire Russian army is be- 
ing mobilized !"* 

This gives but a faint idea of the tyrannic despo- 
tism with which you, Aleck, crush your pupils. They 
dare not think nor speak nor act as intelligent beings 
having mental life as active as your own, and aspira- 
tions as noble and as generous. The foul prison- 
house, the sword, the knout, the mine, the fiercely 
bitter blasts of an iceberg-home surround them, and 
are the household gods you compel your children to 

* Vide the Times, April 26th. 


worship and to fear, and they tamely submit, with 
only here and there the smallest scintillation of light 
breaking the death-like aspect of your rule and giving 
some faint hope for future freedom. 

Were I in your garden I would labour night and 
day until this foul despotism were uprooted, and the 
hour had come when your pupils had a share in their 
government with you. 

Under the plea of Christian sympathy for the 
Christian pupils of Mahmoud you have once more 
made the "Christian" question the cause of quarrel 
with him, in order that your dark and ulterior designs 
upon his garden may the more easily be accom- 
plished. You have looked at "the mote in your 
brother's eye," and have forgotten "the beam that is 
in your own !" 

Look at all the dark pictures in your past career ! 
Kecall Siberia and its mines, its vast expanse of ever- 
enduring snow; its wild, rugged, unfruitful, rocky 
wastes, yielding little but the native fur of the small, 
wild creatures that burrow or build in these inhos- 
pitable regions ; forget not the myriads whom you 
have deported from homes of luxury and comfort, 
social and domestic, to linger, and wither, and die in 
their misery and desolation and woe, from the highest 
to the lowest grades of your pupils, because they 
were patriots. 

Does not the bitter wail of Poland still ring in 
your ears ? or are they shut to every sound of mortal 
agony ? 


Under the garb of friendship, jour proffered 
help to Poland was accepted ; with traitorous malice 
you placed your foot on the neck of your " helpless 
friend!" Going back no further than 1861, what is 
the verdict of history, Aleck, upon your treatment of 
a patriotic race ? Let the verdict speak its burning 
words : " In 1861 another insurrection broke out — its 
origin is curious : a large number assembled in the 
neighbourhood of the battlefield of Grochow (where 
two battles had been fought in 1831), to pray for the 
souls of those who then fell ; they were engaged in 
prayer and in singing religious chants when the Eus- 
sian cavalry and gensdarmes charged, killed many, and 
made numerous arrests. This excited intense national 
feeling. Other denominations were visited with like 
massacres, until nearly the whole of the Poles in the 
service of Eussia resigned or deserted. The Kussians 
immediately had recourse to the most severely re- 
pressive measures, forbidding all assemblages, even 
in the churches, punishing those who appeared to 
mourn the death of relatives killed in the previous 
massacres, or who wore garments of certain shapes 
or colours. . . The sympathy of Europe was largely 
enlisted on behalf of the Poles. Eemonstrances 
from Spain, Sweden, Austria, France, Britain, con- 
jointly and repeatedly, Italy, the Low Countries, 
Denmark, Portugal, were wholly disregarded by 
the Czar's Ministers ; incendiarism and murder 
reigned rampant ; the wealthier Poles ruined by 


fines and confiscation ; and whole populations of 
villages put to the sword by the Russians. In 
1864 the Czar's troops succeeded in tram'pling 
out the last embers of insurrection. Great num- 
bers of men, women, and even children were exe- 
cuted ; crowds were transported to Siberia, and ' these 
horrible and wicked cruelties ' seem to have restored 
tranquillity, but it is the tranquillity of the desert." 
And this, Aleck, is thy deliverance of " Oppressed 
Nationalities ! " 

After these and other scenes are scanned, where 
is the .purity of your own hands to be found ? 

Kelentless, rapacious, revengeful, resolute, no 
streams of blood, no pitiless cries for mercy, no heaps 
of ghastly corses have stopped you for one moment 
in pressing on, sooner or later, to the goal of your 
ambition; foiled, turned aside, and again foiled, you 
have again re-started on your career and little count- 
ed the cost, the life, the suffering, the agony that 
marked your onward march. 

And now what do we witness ? Your garden in 
fierce commotion — the sirocco of the war-cry is sweep- 
ing in mad and burning blasts over your pupils, and 
I see them falling, mangled, torn, and ghastly, in 
many places. 

You have now flung down your gage of battle in 
the holy name of Christianity, and you claim to be 
the protector and shield of Mahmoud's Christian 
pupils. Are those high and holy motives the true 


motives that animate you ? Are there no other ob- 
jects after which your hands are outstretched under 
this plea ? Are not these claims the clouds of dust 
with which you seek to fill my school in order that 
you may accomplish your hidden designs upon Mah- 
moud's summer-house ? When coquetting with your 
brother monitors, the honour of your aims was loudly 
vaunted, and the absence of all desire for any sugar- 
plums was plainly stated ; but now the sugar-plums 
are veiled, the ulterior objects hidden. But from your 
past career I am all the more jealous. Be sure of this : 
I will not permit the utter spoliation of Mahmoud's 
grounds, nor suffer you to extend your garden any 
further in the west. My monitors, combinedly, will 
resist your encroachments foot by foot and inch by 
inch if you attempt appropriation of his garden. 
With my monitors in council will I decide what shall 
be done with Mahmoud if you should succeed in 
bringing him to your feet. 

John, bring Mahmoud before me. 

Mahmoud, ever constant in wrong, a wicked, per- 
verse, bigoted, blind obstinacy has ever characterised 
thee. Thou art an intruder into my domains — com- 
ing unasked, thou didst steal thy present grounds, and 
plantedst thy foot on the soil where now it stands. 
Ever since thy intrusion I have had more trouble with 
thee than with all my other monitors together. As a 
firebrand among the wheat, so hast thou been in my 
fields, and it has only been by incessant watchful- 



ness I have thus far been able to prevent thy final 
expulsion from my borders. 

For a long period now I have warned, cautioned, 
chastised, and advised thee and thy many millions 
for good. With the best of counsel, with abundance of 
treasure, with hecatombs of warriors slain at thy doors 
have I defended thee, and all in vain! Crime on 
crime, atrocity on atrocity, wholesale massacre on 
massacre of thy unoffending and defenceless children 
are written across thy forehead, and thou wearest the 
indictment with pride and contemnest thine accusers. 
The hour of thy trial is come, and I withdraw from 
thy defence. Hand to hand, bayonet point to bayonet 
point, bullet to bullet, thou must . stand or fall in my 
school as thy power and success or failure shall decide. 
I cannot permit thy fellow-monitors to interfere at 
present in the strife. I commit thee and Aleck to the 
chances of war, and may God defend the right ! 

John, for ages past you have been my chief moni- 
tor. Limited in area as your garden is in comparison 
with your fellow-monitors', yet the honest truthful- 
ness of your character, and the high principles by 
which you are guided, make you my right hand in the 
government of my school. Separated by a strip of 
the sea, and planted like the noblest gem in a circlet 
of diamonds, your counsels have ever been on behalf 
of the oppressed, and your labours unceasingly ex- 
ercised in forcing on the progress of humanity, and 
securing the best interests of mankind. 


Your garden gives employment in my domains 
to 33,000,000 pupils, but your orders are given for the 
guidance of no less a number in the total than about 
235,000,000 of pupils. Wise, benignant, and emi- 
nently fitted for the work of government as I see your 
race to be, I am also glad to state my satisfaction at 
your being able to keep your grounds in order in 
my domains by considerably less than a quarter of a 
million of boys. 

You are fully aware that, for a great while past, 
my monitors have been in a state of mutiny, and of 
late Aleck has been struggling hard to put Mahmoud's 
eye out, or to blacken it severely. Skirmishes have 
been going on between the latter and some of his 
head boys, and the sponge and water have been pretty 
freely used, but now the two great gladiators have 
come to enact their parts more forcibly in the great 
drama now placed upon the stage of the world, and all 
my pupils stand, with bated breath, to witness the 

But I have a special word for your private ear — 
have you done your duty to your fellow-monitors ? 
Quarrels do not come instantly to their crises, but 
there is always a progressive march ; an early, wise, 
and opportune intervention bindeth fast friends ; a 
late interference increaseth the strife. 

Was there, at no time, an opportunity presented 
to you when you might have intervened with advan- 
tage, and made Aleck and Mahmoud very friends ? 


If I mistake not, a choice Andrassy cake was sent to 
you, but you returned it untasted because no wine ac- 
companied the gift. You said you could not eat cake 
without you had the wine too, and so the cake was 
spoiled before it got home again. Then, again, you 
had a present of a Berlin sausage, sent with great 
formality, but this, you said, so stunk in your nostrils, 
that you kicked it out of doors faster than it came in. 

Now, in both these cases you committed grave error — 
you treated monitors Joseph and William somewhat 
rudely, and refused to send them any of your plum 
pudding in acknowledgment of their kindness. 

Now, what should have been your course ? You 
see, the quarrel was between Aleck and Mahmoucl, 
because the latter was treating very badly in his 
garden some pupils who were proteges of Aleck's, and 
he refused to pay any attention to Aleck's request 
for kinder treatment. All your brother monitors con- 
demned Mahmoud ; in your secret heart you con- 
demned him too, but you feared that some of your 
interests would suffer if you openly condemned him, 
so you patted him on the back and sent your pleasure 
boats into his Bay of " Besique." 'Twas wilily done, 
but it was an electioneering dodge that exploded into 
" protection of Christians" when probed with the 
needle of inquiry. 

Had you joined on either of these occasions with 
William, Joseph, Victor, and Aleck, and conjointly 
said to Mahmoud, " We cannot, and we will not permit 


this treatment of your Christian pupils any longer to 
continue ; we will take them under our protection, and, 
whilst leaving them to your general control as their 
schoolmaster, we will place one of our sub-monitors 
in each of your flower-beds adjoining ours, so as to 
see that you do fully perform your engagements," 
then Mahmoud, calling for his pipe, would have 
retired into his harem, saying luxuriously, " Brother 
Monitors, do as you will — I am content ;" but the 
favourable opportunities passed never to return, and 
the Turkey-cock chuckled, spread abroad his wings, 
opened wide his tail and turned it towards Aleck — he 
was not to be so easily "Ignetted" and "Shovelled- 
off " the stage. 

But Aleck's ire was up. He called a meeting of 
all the monitors except Mahmoud, and you " buried 
your salt" (salis-burj) in the Bosphorus. The geese 
cackled, but the egg was " addle ;" the Turkey was 
a game-cock, and would not sit on eggs. You then 
baited him with " proto-coals " (evidently a new 
description of World's-end), but the Turkey said they 
could not be made hot enough to roast him, so the 
bait was bottled in smoke. 

Having sacrificed your glorious opportunities for 
doing real and splendid service (for Mahmoud would 
not have dared to resist your combined pressure), 
you have now to stand aside and look on, having 
made bitter enemies of both combatants, as is usually 
the case when unwise interference is offered, and 
offered in vain. 


John, there was a time in your career when I re- 
member the first class of your sub-monitors was 
known as " the government of ALL the talents." The day 
has now dawned upon you when the verdict of history 
will describe your present first class, on all foreign 
questions, with a " beacon-in-the-field," as "The 
One-Talented Ministry of Europe!" 

And now, my Monitors and Heads of my School, 
I desire to address you with the utmost gravity ; and I 
would Remonstrate with you from the deepest recesses 
of my inmost soul, in order to prevent, if possible, the 
dread and dismal scenes I see looming in the near 
horizon. And I would base my Eemonstrance with 
you on — 

I. — The score of the Cost. It is impossible for you, 
my monitors, to engage in battle, singly or conjointly, 
without entailing upon yourselves, more or less, utter 
and absolute misery, if not complete ruin. Each of you, 
I know, speaks feelingly when you take your crumpled 
bits of dirty paper in your fingers and say, in three 
cases out of five, that they make false statements on the 
face of them as to their worth. You know how cruel 
and bitter the burdens are you lay upon your pupils, 
and with what difficulties they are met; and you, 
Aleck and Mahmoud, know well that your credit in 
my domains is well nigh gone. Even at a Jewish in- 
terest it is difficult for you to " raise the wind." You 
cannot fight except at an enormous, ruinous rate of 


interest, and you have no resources whence to meet 
the charge except from the blood and sinews of your 
subjects. Were the people wise they would rise 
against you, and refuse to be hoodwinked by you as 
to this being a " holy and religious war." It is neither 
more nor less than a war for conquest, under the plea 
of the holiest of names. 

II. — On the score of Humanity I must remonstrate 
with you. Why should your pupils fight and not you ? 
Why should they be driven like galley slaves to the 
cannon's mouth, for matters in which they take but 
little interest, and you stay at home at ease ? 

Why should the glorious image of God, in the 
face of man, be defaced, brutalised, torn, butchered, 
blown to atoms, and the souls of hundreds of thou- 
sands hurried into eternity, because a half dozen of 
the head monitors of my school cannot quite agree on 
two or three points ? 

Why should thousands and many tens of thou- 
sands of women be made widows, and children father- 
less, because Mahmoud says "I won't," and Aleck says 
"You shall?" 

John, do you not feel an awful responsibility rest- 
ing upon you when you know that you might have 
stopped all this, if you had yourself given the wine to 
the Andrassy cake, or the mustard to the Berlin 
sausage ? And how will you reckon with your 
pupils before this fight shall be over ? 

III. — Civilization cries aloud against this Fearful 


Crime. The mind of man lias been progressing through 
the ages to the present highest standard of intellect 
and moral grandeur the world has yet seen. Science, 
the arts, the mechanical inventions, national wealth, 
the welfare of peoples, active benevolence, the care 
for life, the thrilling horror that passes through a 
nation when five of its children lie entombed in 
the bowels of the earth — all have reached in our 
day the highest point of excellence and sub- 
limity ever yet attained, and for what ? Is it not 
a burlesque upon all this grandeur and civiliza- 
tion to know that some of the greatest inventive minds 
of our age are not directed so much to what shall 
promote the well-being of nations and peoples, and 
the material prosperity of the world, as to the dis- 
covery of the most certain and destructive implements 
of war, and the quickest and surest means for destroy- 
ing the greatest number in the smallest space of time ? 
Alas, alas, for poor humanity ! It must be so as 
long as the interests and wills of governors are separate 
and distinct from the interests and wills of the governed. 
Evidently the day has not yet dawned when "the wolf 
will lie down with the kid," nor the hour burst upon 
the world when the simple process of ' ' beating the 
sword into the ploughshare " shall be heard in the 
shanty of the smith. All civilization teaches peace. 
All the practice of the nations goes back to the darkest 
and most barbaric ages, when will was law, and brute 
force the ruling power that governed the world. With 


the one hand everything is done that is possible to 
preserve life and to beautify it, whilst with the other 
the scimitar is at the throat and the poignard at the 
heart, and kings and emperors will to have it so. 

IV. Because the religion of Jesus Christ, which is 
destined to become the ruling principle of the world, is 
a Religion of Peace. It is not the word of the lip that 
rolls smoothly and glibly off the tongue, volumed out to 
the world as a great balloon to be gazed at with wonder 
by an astonished race, but it is the one absorbing, living, 
practical principle that guides the life and rules the 
conduct of all whom Christianity truly governs. 

That man, or king, or emperor, or nation loses all 
right to Christianity who uses the name as a cloak 
with which to hide and cover his wicked aims. 

The religion of Jesus Christ says, " Put up thy 
sword into its place, for he that taketh the sword shall 
perish with the sword ;" and never will Religion with- 
draw it from the scabbard except in cases of systematic 
desecration of hearth and home. That desecration has 
been undoubtedly inflicted by Mahmoud on his Chris- 
tian population, — they bore that desecration as long 
as even the Christian mind could endure it, and they 
rose not in arms until no other refuge was left them 
from death, and from what was worse than death. 

Our place, our true position, was at the side of 
these suffering people. We should not have waited 
for hypocritical Eussia. When the tocsin of the 


oppressed was heard pealing in our ears, our hearts 
should have sprung — in fact, they did spring — to the 
rescue. But our "beacon-in-the-field " became an 
Ignis fatuus, and the only voice that controlled was 
the voice of the " Dizzy Sphinx." 

Our place is taken by a semi-barbarous race — the 
heart of Aleck's soldiers beats in sympathy with the 
oppressed Christian people, let the designs of his 
rulers be what they may, and it is left to us to stand 
aside and wait and watch to see what deliverance and 
succour shall come to the oppressed and down- 
trodden under Mahmoud's despotic and cruel rule. 

And now, my Monitors, the hour has come when 
it is my imperative duty to lay my commands upon you, 
and to state my Ultimatum in the present crisis. As 
you see, Aleck and Mahmoud are stripped and standing, 
toe to toe, glaring savagely at each other for the chance 
of giving the first deadly blow. Vast interests are at 
stake, and the chances of battle are uncertain. If it 
shall happen that Mahmoud falls prostrate at the feet 
of Aleck, it is my will that you, my other Monitors, who 
are now only spectators of the fight, shall intervene and 
save his life, placing before him — 

1. The absolute deliverance of his Christian pupils 
from any further control by his Mussulman children ; 
their complete enjoyment of civil and religious liberty, 
without let or hindrance ; and the yielding up of the 


crushed flower-beds of Bosnia, Servia, Montenegro, 
and Bulgaria to your combined surveillance and con- 
trol; or — 

2. Failing to assent to these terms, that then you 
shall unite to effect his final and complete expatria- 
tion from my soil, and the placing his present garden 
under combined rule for the benefit of the pupils them- 
selves, and not for the benefit of any particular State. 

Aleck said he is entering into this fight, having 
washed his hands from desire for increased garden 
ground. You must help him to keep his hands clean 
in this respect, and you must refuse, on any terms, per- 
mission to his gaining an inch of territory. Forget 
not that he entered Poland with a similar plea ; but 
once within her borders as a friend, he refused to leave, 
and remained till he strangled her liberties, crushed 
her honour, banished or cruelly slaughtered her noble 
sons, and trampled her under his feet. 

I grieve to say, you, William and Joseph, helped 
him in that foul work, but in the future events that must 
come I lay my commands upon you, and in so doing I 
am consulting your own best interests: you must not 
permit him to possess a foot of soil more in my 
dominions; and if you, with John, Louis, and Victor, agree 
sternly and resolutely to enforce your commands upon 
either or upon both the combatants, neither the one nor 
the other will dare to disobey. 


But should Mahmoud win, what then ? First — 
Aleck must pay the costs and retire to his garden as 
before, whilst Mahmoud must just the same unreservedly 
yield himself to your commands. 

It is impossible for me, whether he be victor or 
-wnquished, any longer to permit him to manage his 
grounds as before, and to continue to be a standing 
menace to the peace of my dominions. His rule in 
future, if he remain in my school, shall be just, moderate 
and equal to all his pupils. 

What did T hear you say, John, that that is im- 
possible ! — his nature, his habits, his so-called religion 
prevent the possibility of this ! If this be true, then let 
him be expelled. I will not suffer any monitor to 
continue under my control unless he lives in harmony 
with you all. It is impossible for me to maintain good 
order in my school without discipline ; and if one of you 
be found wholly and utterly incorrigible, then I will 
claim your votes, as his brother monitors, to eject him 
from your midst, and thus to restore that perfect union 
which is so desirable and so necessary to the moral 
and material prosperity of the human race. 


OCEAN TO OCEAN, by George M. Grant, with map and 
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with illustrations. 
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Dr. W. W. Hall. 

"Every one should read it." — Boston Transcript. 

TEN YEARS OF MY LIFE, by the Princess Felix 


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Sir John Lubbock. Earl of Airlie. 

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